I’ve written, revised, and scraped this post three times today. I kept writing the same tired shit I’ve shared already. This wasn’t the point of moving (nearly) half way around the world.
In the midst of frustration, a dear friend’s wise words rang like a bell in my brain: “The universe rewards the bold.” Bold, eh? I’ll show you bold. I’m going on a hunt through quaint and quiet Åstorp to unearth the offbeat and unconventional. Take THAT, universe.
Tattoo parlor and funky café found. Week Two in Sweden is about establishing self.
I’ve always questioned my life’s grand purpose; my curiosity has consumed a considerable amount of my time. My desire for knowledge has led me down some unsavory paths but has also yielded results joyful beyond measure. This intensity in my spirit is something for which I’ve stopped apologizing; it’s as much me as the gap in my top front teeth.
It’s why I’m here, in Sweden. It’s time to learn a different way to communicate with myself in order to achieve something greater. But before I’m able to answer why I’m here, I must figure out HERE, geographically and culturally. Language is key; my lessons with Oscar – learning colors, numbers, greetings, and nouns – are my building blocks to progress. They’re my decoder ring for the big picture.
Change is happening, one color at a time; I can feel it. I think I might be able to sleep tonight.
Jet lag is a gift. The quiet of the early morning is a playground for my active mind and twirling spirit.
My excitement for my first full day in Astorp, Sweden will quickly overpower my initial everything so I better list before the sun comes up.
1. Lush. It is raining and cool and green. Astorp feels part rural, part suburban. I fully expect to see a chicken cross the road from where I sit in the kitchen, but then my course corrects when a Volvo wagon drives by.
2. Impeccable design everywhere. Clean, organized, practical, yet very cozy. Even the food packaging is obsessive compulsive. Anna’s home is beautiful and comfortable; I love it.
3. I never want to question the purpose of my life again. I promise myself that I will always ask for help when I need light brought to darkness.
4. I have a tremendous appreciation for each person with whom I have discussed this journey – not a single person has been discouraging. Not one. Thank you so much.
5. I am an explorer, a communicator, a seeker. Curiosity is renewed.
6. My faith has never been stronger. My desire to give thanks has never been stronger.
Starting to get sleepy. Perfect.
The day. It’s here.
The point is to be completely present, with eyes wide open, receiving everything. The point is to be thankful to the past for guiding me to the now, and to be thankful for a future of possibility.
Everything I need, and everything I want, is here. It’s just a matter of discovery and timing.
Breathe, Bek. Time to satiate what’s eating at you.
There’s nothing quite like moving to force the prioritization of four decades of memories and century-old family heirlooms in to the protective embrace of Home Depot boxes. Honestly, I love it. Donating, gifting, and discarding tantalize every iota of my O.C.D.; the less crap, always the better.
“You can’t take it with you” runs through my head as sweat drips down my face; the hotbox that is my garage is great for a detox and distilling things to bare essentials.
Do I really need to keep the pointe shoes I’ve had since grammar school? Yes, they’re a trophy.
Is this blank Modern Family notebook from Comic-Con ever going to be used? Eh, recycle.
Will I wear these strappy sandals in Sweden between the months of November and February? LMFAO.
I’m a compartmentalizer; I want to leave San Diego neat and tidy so that brain space and emotional warehousing are bright and clear of cobwebs. I’m getting there but it’s going to keep on keepin’ on until I pull out of the driveway.
So for now, back to shoveling through my accumulation.