Happy Thursday, y’all. While progress on eatingatme 2.0 inches along, the following is my PSA for what you, my sparkly rays of buttery deliciousness, might do in the meantime to achieve greater enlightenment:

* cue James Brown’s “Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine” *

Witness the embarrassment of one delusional Cancer on Facebook: eatingatme

Distill life’s mojo to 140 characters on Twitter: @rebecca_gaffney

Partake in real-time licentiousness on Instagram: @rebeccagaffney

Share in bizarre obsessions on Pinterest: bekiem

My idiocy validates your awesomeness, promise. Now shake your money maker over to the above.